you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize