I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
