And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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