I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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