I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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