Where is the hickey?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
