So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
