Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
