people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
