Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I love you.
Bad choice
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
