Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
