I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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