No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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