in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
