Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
smell my finger.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
