ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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