Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
