genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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