just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
