I puked a lego.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
