I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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