hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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