I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize