Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize