dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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