Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
