The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
