Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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