I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
if only i could text you this smell
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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