So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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