ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
