She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
someone owes me an orgasm
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
