4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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