How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
honey bunches of taint.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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