We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
