love makes seman taste better
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
