dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
