so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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