Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Randomize
