I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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