what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
