question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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