the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
honey bunches of taint.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
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