We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
