You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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