i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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