Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
