Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
