So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's shark week go big or go home
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
