It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
