their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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