he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
