OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
3 2 1 whiskey
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
How does one acquire holy water?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
