You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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