I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
