I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
