weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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