I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize