I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
we should paint friendship bongs
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