Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
