Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
