If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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