you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
