why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
