she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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