therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
